By Marc C. Shaffer
You’ve probably heard of The Five Love Languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch, and receiving gifts. While not everyone’s primary love language is “receiving gifts,” there’s something about a well-timed, thoughtful present that can warm hearts and open doors, even in business. 🎁
In professional settings, gifting transcends personal preferences because it communicates care, attention, and intention. When done right, it becomes less about the object and more about the message: “I see you. I value our relationship.”
One of the books that helped solidify this philosophy for us at Searcy Financial Services is Gift·ology by John Ruhlin. His approach isn’t about promotional trinkets or transactional giveaways. It’s about using strategic generosity to deepen relationships, with clients, colleagues, referral partners, and even your broader community. It helped shape our firm’s culture of thoughtful gifting, turning it into a system, not just a sentiment.
Timing Is the Unsung Hero of Gifting
The right gift at the right time can be magic. But the “right time” is rarely the beginning of a relationship. It’s often after multiple touchpoints, when you’ve built enough of a connection to know what would feel meaningful, not manipulative.
That’s why we aim to surprise and delight based on milestones rather than marketing moments.
When a client welcomes a new baby, for instance, we love sending something from their registry, paired with a personalized piggy bank featuring our logo. It’s sweet, useful, and memorable. Some families even send us photos of their toddlers shaking those piggy banks like maracas. 🎶
When clients celebrate anniversaries, we send champagne flutes. When someone experiences a loss, we name a star in their loved one’s memory and deliver the certificate.
These gifts aren’t about us; they’re about honoring someone else’s story.
The Smallest Gestures Can Make the Biggest Impact
Here’s a story I’ll never forget: I had a great first meeting with a prospective client who was also considering other financial firms. I followed up as usual with a handwritten “Nice to meet you” note. Then, a few weeks later, I checked in and found out their family was recovering from COVID.
Instead of pressing for a decision or pushing another meeting, I simply said, “Take your time. I’ll be here if and when you’re ready.” And I dropped a small Get Well Soon card in the mail. No gift. No sales angle. Just a note to say I cared.
Later, they told me that card made all the difference in choosing to work with us.
It wasn’t about what I knew or what our firm offered. It was that we showed them, early on, that we genuinely cared. And I stand by this truth:
People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. 💜
Systemized Kindness: The Secret to Consistency
What makes this work over time is systematization. Inspired by Gift·ology, we created a shared team document with go-to gift ideas for various life moments.
One favorite? A beautiful, leather-bound journal with a subtle embossed logo. It’s understated and functional, something a client might bring to a networking event or use to capture ideas at home.
We also set reminders tied to conversations. If a client mentions planning a bucket list trip to Europe, I might follow up months later with a personalized money belt or a small souvenir from a country we talked about. But I don’t rely on memory alone. I log the idea, schedule a nudge, and let the system help me be thoughtful.
Strategic generosity doesn’t mean robotic gifting. It means building an infrastructure around your natural curiosity and compassion, so those good intentions actually get acted on.
The Power of Playful Persistence
Sometimes, gifting also helps cut through the noise, especially when someone you want to meet isn’t responding. That’s when I’ll try something a little cheeky: I send a coffee gift card with a note that says, “Let’s meet for coffee.” ☕️
It’s playful. It’s confident. And often, it works.
You don’t need to be pushy. Just intentional. One of my mottos is: “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.” A small gesture can open the door for a meaningful conversation, especially when it reflects genuine interest, not a sales pitch.
Give What Reflects Connection, Not Just Affection
In business relationships, gifting should be a reflection of what you’ve learned about someone, not what you want from them. That’s the difference between a meaningful gift and a forgettable one.
We’ve given personalized gifts tied to hobbies, travels, even favorite books. It’s less about the item itself and more about saying, “I was listening.”
In fact, gifting isn’t even about generosity, it’s about presence. About making someone feel seen and remembered, especially when they aren’t expecting it.
Thoughtfulness Always Translates
Whether you’re building client loyalty, nurturing referral partners, or growing your network, gifting is a universal language. When you take the time to connect authentically and create a plan for following up with generosity, people notice, and remember.
Not everyone’s love language is gifts. But in business, a thoughtful gesture at the right moment speaks volumes to everyone.
So here’s your challenge:
💡 Think of someone who made an impact on you this year.
🎯 Now surprise and delight them, just because.
And if you need help systemizing your gifting strategy, we’re happy to share a few tips from our playbook. After all, building relationships is what we do best. 💜
P.S. My upcoming book, One For All: How to Systemize Kindness, Grow Your Network, and Support Others Like It’s Your Job, includes even more tools, stories, and strategies to help you create thoughtful systems, so you can show up consistently and meaningfully in the lives of those who matter most. Stay tuned!
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