By Marc Shaffer

As a financial planner, I am an advocate for planning and coaching that helps you get the most out of life. For the first 35 years of my life, I steered my own ship toward my destinations of choice. I would call myself a driven individual with personal goals that I liked to achieve each year, and I always had the freedom to make those happen exactly how I chose.

When I got married, new life goals were developed, and I decided a life coach could really be beneficial into making the transition from individual to couple. I wanted to make sure I was as strong in my marriage as I was before.

I’d like to share with you my experience of working with a life coach.

Why a life coach?

I wanted someone to help not just with business, sales or career goals. I wanted to incorporate “whole person” thinking and concepts into my coaching requirements so a life coach seemed like the best fit. My life coach focused on (but didn’t limit me to) the following areas:

Relationships
Social Life
Creativity
Spirituality
Confidence
Education
Career
Finances
Health
Physical Activity
Sex Life (Yup!)
Home Environment

My coach stated the goal was to be highly satisfied in each of these areas of life, but this required a balance of focus. We worked on rounding out each area until it became equal with stronger areas. If you focus on one area over another, your life can be lacking.

A coach can help you level out your focus so you’re succeeding across the board.

I believe my life coach’s full-time job was to make me uncomfortable. (Note, this is a good thing!)

We started by identifying areas from the list that were good and ones that needed help. She was great at helping me identify ways to work towards more balance and/or reprioritize my time so strengthen certain areas.

My willingness to be uncomfortable and to be present with my discomfort led to huge successes in various areas of my life. I learned that my emotions and thoughts are directly correlated to my success and growth.

Staying Focused

Because I love to spend my time “doing,” I can get caught up in the activities around me without focusing on the thoughts around them. I found the weekly calls helpful for staying focused and checking in with myself. Much like a personal trainer, the accountability on my personal goals was helpful and pushed me to regularly make small steps in the direction toward accomplishing larger goals.

Oftentimes, large goals just need to be broken down into smaller ones that are more manageable, so they don’t seem so overwhelming.

I’m reminded of the Simon Sinek quote “The hardest part is starting. Once you get that out of the way, you’ll find the rest of the journey much easier.” This couldn’t be truer in my experience working with a life coach. If I didn’t start on something I identified as a goal, I had to answer to her, which wasn’t easy.

Through the process, I became more aware and conscious of my thoughts and emotions.

When I encountered stress, I learned that stress was simply a result of my thoughts, which I could control. I was told that “the greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” It has been wonderful to learn how to reduce stress, focus more on moving forward and to enjoy the journey towards my goals.

Over the course of my six month commitment, my coach would suggest books that enhanced our time together. The following list are some of the books I read and found helpful:

The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity by Edwene Gaines
The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan
High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard
Miracle Morning for Entrepreneurs by Hal Elrod
The Alchemist by Paula Coehlo

Qualities I Sought in a Life Coach

Speaking of books, there’s a lot you can learn from them, but they will rarely ever replace a real person. Some of the qualities I sought when looking for a life coach included:

Accountability
Strategic Thinking
Active Listening
Goal Setting
Pushing the Limits on Thoughts

The coach you choose should be someone you are comfortable opening up to, and also someone by which you feel challenged and motivated. I had established stretch annual goals with my coach in the first few months of working with her; some of which were accomplished prior to our coaching contract ending; a whole 9 months early. You can usually tell early on if your coach is the right fit for you. If you don’t feel the relationship is working out, talk with your coach about your feelings and don’t be afraid to move on.

For me, my coach pushed me to think bigger from the beginning and I’m happy to have stretched my thinking and future toward goals I hadn’t previously considered. If you would like to discuss my experience or need a referral to a life coach, please reach out to me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

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Published for the blog on May 24, 2019 by Searcy Financial Services, your Overland Park, Kansas Fee-Only Financial Planner and Investment Manager.